A Statement on Skinnies.

July 8, 2009
Having received the almightiest of burns from a seemingly non-existent sun yesterday, the very thought of attempting to squeeze into garments leads me to shudder uncontrollably. Fortunately, my legs were spared from the reddening but still I cringe slightly when reading this topical article in WSJ by Ray A. Smith, in which he recounts an everyman’s experience of the now ubiquitous skinny-jeans. After all, sunburn or no, this wardrobe-staple is often the good friend that just doesn’t quite understand you (read: fit you).
Once the cornerstone of any rock-and-roll/punk wardrobe worth its salt, the peg-legs have become one of the signifiers of a modern male’s style. But is the streamlined silhouette really worth it? Just like Doug Black, quoted in the aforementioned article, skinny-jeans can prove somewhat antagonistic, constantly preventing basic movements and an absolute bitch to throw-off and back on again while trying on other clothing. And despite any little innovations from season to season – slight adjustment of thigh-to-waist ratio, introduction of spandex for a sleeker, snugger fit etc. I invariably find that my thighs threaten to split seams while the last notch on the belt is called for in order for some kind of a decent fit to be achieved at the waist. I mean, I run sporadically for general wellness (full disclosure: v. sporadically) but I’m no casual athlete so I’m wondering what any of the fashionable fitness folk do to remedy this? Also, remember the resounding declarations from a few seasons ago that skinny-jeans were entirely dead? Notice they’re really really not? Yeah, me too.

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And isn’t it bloody time we had a pair of even mildly interesting skinnies? An assortment of sweetshop reds, greens and yellows will not suffice, thank you Topman. Aren’t there more imaginative details we could be sporting when dipping into skinny-jeans? Do please correct me if you know someone crafting something vaguely different…

Since I’ve not really got the genes for these jeans (ho ho!), I reckon I’ll be sticking to straight-leg for the time being. You? I conclude with the sage advice of my mother, who once worriedly informed me, “You could become infertile, you know?”.

Image from The Sart

  • Mat Ahoy - Buckets and Spades July 8, 2009 at 10:38 am

    well yes, the subject! depending on what look im going for and even what footwear im wearing depends on the fit of my jeans now. but say other a year ago i would have just grabbed my skinny jeans. if im wearing dr martens its skinny jeans but now im throwing slim indigo denims/beige chinos/navy chinos and dark purple chinos into the mix. and to be honest it makes me feel a little more gown up.when i see tanned/muscle bound/pretty boys head to toe in all saints clothes with boots it makes me feel alittle sick inside. even though i know i look nothing like that. i would like a pair of dip dye skinny jeans, ive seen trousers but not jeans.today im wearing slim indigo jeans with brown boat shoes and a uniqlo shirt. slim not skinny is def my silhouette right now.

  • EJ July 8, 2009 at 11:22 am

    I've always wondered… and I can find no way of saying this delicately… why the majority of men in skinnies appear to have no penis. Do they tuck it under for a more streamlined look?On a slightly less uncouth note, I am fed up with skinnies now, by and large. I think I've seen my lifetime's share of men shoving themselves into ill-fitting jeans (and women too, for that matter). Time for a change, I hope.

  • Mat Ahoy - Buckets and Spades July 8, 2009 at 9:21 pm

    oh and i never found that that uncomftable really, depends on brand i guess. come on EJ, we do have penises, but you have do it for fashion sometimes.i remember when i was 17 and i used to take in jeans i found in charity shops, i sawed a pair so tight i had to get my girlfriend to tie my shoelaces. never again!

  • IAMTHEANGELNEGRO July 9, 2009 at 1:56 am


  • Terence Sambo July 9, 2009 at 8:26 am

    Glad i'm lucky to be in d gene pool of skinny jeans wearers, but it takes a lot of discipline to stay fit and trim, and skinny jeans serves as a check for me to knw when to hit d gym more and eat less :o]P.s: Thanx for linkin back, could u pls change my blog title to "Mens Fashion and Lifestyle Aficionado" Thanx :o]

  • indigo and cloth July 9, 2009 at 10:01 pm

    Some women have amazing bodies, skinny jeans ahoy. Men less so.In fact, clothes were made to cover us up. All we can do now is buy nice clothes, not one's that make us look and feel like shite !

  • rickyjames July 11, 2009 at 12:11 am

    I love the boots..http://rickyjamesflynn.blogspot.com/