Phone sex isn’t just a vintage way to connect; it also makes for an excellent addition to your sex life. If you’ve ever read books written by sex therapist Jack Morin, you know that the equation for peak sexual desire is attraction plus obstacle. That means that psychology backs the idea that “absence makes the heart grow fonder.” Or, at the very least, absence can help you get pretty turned on.
For those who are in long-term relationships, there are usually very few obstacles between them and their partner. When unavoidable physical distance enters the equation, so does a surprising amount of renewed sexual interest. Bottom line: phone sex is good for your relationship, on top of being something fun and new to try. Below are some tips on how to have all the phone sex you want with none of the awkwardness.
Set the Scene
You want to have phone sex somewhere you can relax, so make sure you have a private place where you can get comfortable. You don’t necessarily have to shower or tidy the room since phone sex doesn’t always involve photos, but if feeling clean or having some ambiance helps you get into the mood, go for it. You could listen to quiet music and dim the lights—whatever helps you amp up the anticipation.
Start Slow
The best way to begin phone sex is by ensuring the other party is interested and free at the time. So, just ask. If now’s not the best time, that doesn’t necessarily mean you’re being rejected. Planning ahead can help ease any social awkwardness since phone sex can be challenging to initiate spontaneously.
When you begin having phone sex, you don’t want to jump right to the dirty details. Giving yourselves some time to flirt is a crucial step for those who are in long-term relationships. If you’re unsure where to start, try reminiscing about one of your favorite shared sexual experiences. It’s often very hot (and enlightening!) to hear both your perspectives on what made the sex so good.
Next, listen for cues from your partner so that you can set a pace. Are they steering things to go faster, or are they slowing it down? Reacting to their signals will help you both enjoy the experience more.
Don’t Fall Into a Routine
Sometimes the hardest part about keeping the sex hot in a relationship is knowing exactly what the other person likes. It sounds counterintuitive, but it’s true. Diving straight into the tried-and-true routine prevents you from learning new things about your partner or experiencing something different. It can sentence you to monotony. Phone sex gives you the chance to do something different, so don’t miss out on that!
Gauge your partner’s interest before flipping the script, but do try something out of the ordinary. If you’ve always wanted to be more assertive, now’s your chance. Or, if you would like to vocalize a fantasy that you’d never try in real life, this is an excellent time to explore that, too.
Practice Safe Phone Sex
Even though you won’t need a condom or dental dam, safe phone sex is a necessity. Having safe sex of any kind means that you’ll have to prioritize your safety (whether emotional or physical), privacy, and pleasure. Make sure you’ve asked if your partner wants to try phone sex before you get started.
Remember, you can have phone sex if you’re not in a relationship, too. Many sites offer a platform to have phone sex with strangers, but it’s essential to choose one that ensures everyone is of legal age. If you’re not exchanging pics or videos, phone sex privacy is relatively straightforward. There’s no written trace of what’s happening to worry about. When you take care of the details, you can relax and get into the moment, giving yourself the best chance of having an unforgettable phone sex experience.
